Microsoft (MSFT) today announced what amounts to a startling turn of events for the company, investors and end users of all Windows based micro-computers:
"Today, we change history." quipped an obviously tense Steve Ballmer as he proceeded out on stage to lay it on the line for investors and customers worldwide.
"You know us....as the company that wins...The company that competes!" - he said to roars of enthusiasm.
"The company - that won't let a little thing called FREE SOFTWARE get in the way of our plans!" ( more roars of approval)
"Well today my friends, I bring news - of a changed company, in a changed industry. And I will show you what our cash reserves are for!"
Ballmer: teary eyed:
"As of next Monday, all Microsoft Windows Software will be free - in a base version, that omits many features. But the underlining Operating system that is the windows core will be FREE!"
More cheers .. rustling - people sitting down - shuffling.
Moderator: Shh shh..
Ballmer: "There will be NO bigger dividends - We are concentrating on the biggest fight of our lives, and will not fall prey to ANY disruptive technology - or an "Innovators Dilemma" scenario!" (Gates - stands from his seat and bows - to much wild screams of "I love you bill!" from the younger females in the audience.)
"Today - we face a tough - but necessary decision: To become irrelevant? or to overcome!" (yet more roars)
"for it is today - we announce - the Microsoft Pledge of Honor
"The first agenda - is for our loyal users & developers. The second is to our investors. And the third is to our competitors" - he continued: "All Windows core OS plumbing is now FREE"
"And may the source be with you!"
[too many flash bulbs to count - much chatter]
"We have always been, and will continue to be the MEANING of growth! Financially & spiritually in our industry..."
"We can’t have it both ways." pronounced Ballmer, a proud Gates looking on in the distance.
"Our stockade of cash - can only last so long, I'm not here to lie or paint pretty pictures: only one of the truth. And that truth is, my friends, partners and customers that WE... ARE... READY!"
"WE WILL NOT BE AN IBM!"
"I MEAN WE WILL NOT BE LIKE THE OLD IBM!"
"WE will understand the core philosophies of Software as a way of life - not just functionally, but personally!"
"A time has come upon us, where we must adjust our model, the practices that have served us so well for over 25 years. The is a new threat and to combat this threat, for that - we need what we have worked so hard to build: our reserves!. but I tell you..."
"In 5 years time, Microsoft stock will be DOUBLE what it is today.. do you hear me - DOUBLE! We have had our investors’ interests in mind all along - and that interest is CHANGE!"
bla bla more roars.
ok - that was long winded but it was fun pretending