Good evening, this is your captain speaking.
As you may have noticed, we are currently experiencing some minor technical difficulties with all four of our engines.
I just wanted to assure everyone on board that we have escalated this issue to priority-1 with our experts, and hope to have them all restarted shortly.
In the meantime, sit back and relax, and I thank you for choosing to fly with us.
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’VE NEVER DONE THIS IN TRAINING ? WHAT THE F* DO WE PAY YOU IDIOTS FOR ?? YOU’RE GOING TO KILL US ALL... OH, F*, the intercom is still on...”
Reminded me of this real life incident:
"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. We have a small problem. All four engines have stopped. We are doing our damnedest to get them under control. I trust you are not in too much distress."