Why can't Microsoft simply adopt an existing community based ORM? That's what Sun did via the Java Persistence API. Why try to compete with Hibernate, a mature and advanced ORM that was already widely adopted?
Microsoft's stone age build system and dependency management probably contributes to your irrational fear of third party libraries. (Any reason what-so-ever to use EF at this point is irrational.) All I got to do is add one line of markup to my pom.xml to use virtually ANY library in Java. Same difference with Ruby. I notice the author mentioned this.