Normally I try to avoid flame wars, but let's clarify a few things here.
First of all, you have only interacted with a few Niners, and you are generalizing, aiming your insults at all of us. Ask yourself what that says about you.
Second, in your first post here, you were like someone barging into a room where a bunch of people are relaxing and chatting and arguing about stuff, and you shout out an offer of $500 bucks to the entire room of anywhere from 100's to 60,000 people to do something that you state no one has been able to do, and then wait for someone to jump at it? No, everyone just sees that and sees that it requires them to drop what they are doing and listen to this rude guy that thinks waving his hands in the air promising cash, which by the way is no incentive for nearly every programmer I know. Not because it's low, it is, but because money is not the goal of a programmer when they are helping someone. Since you don't understand that you are really not one of us, believe me, and I sure as heck am not going to drop what I am doing to solve your problem for you when you act like that. No one else wanted to drop what they were doing to try to help you either. Maybe they would have if you had of politely asked for help, because some of us like helping people.
Third, you didn't get an answer and instead of thinking through why that may be, you start ranting and throwing insults at everyone for not jumping to help you, thinking this kind of challenge should get a positive response. Yeah, sure that's really a good idea. Why do you think we'd just scoff at you?
So, bottom line, being a belligerent arse is not going to get you any help here, and you won't get a shred of respect by acting the way you have.
Fourth, get lost.