Rory

• Hanselminutes on 9 - Spolsky, Atwood, Blyth, Hanselman = Crazy-Delicious || Content-Free?

  Oct 30, 2009 at 5:19 PM

  I'm actually blotting the excess oil from my face.

   

  I'm vain and insecure, and Scott had a camera (as the photo indicates).

   

  It's a really bad habit I picked up. I blot my face in traffic. While I'm sitting at the counter in cafes. While I'm talking to people in mid-conversation. Whipped a blotter paper out once when hitting on a girl at a VC party and removed about a gallon of oil and sweat from my face while we talked (and it didn't seem to make a difference - which was awesome - anybody who doesn't walk away from you while you do that is someone worth, I don't know, probably marrying).

   

  I use the Clean and Clear brand, by the by. Just in case any of you want to blot your faces just like I do. It's easily the best vanity blotter paper on the market. Also some of the only vanity blotter paper on the market.

   

  You won't be sorry. And you'll take care of that pesky sheen.

• Ping: Episode 8

  Apr 16, 2009 at 8:01 PM

  Why because?

  
  

  Because why.

  
  

  Here's why.

  
  

  (Because.)

  
  

  I don't like choice. I think choice is overwhelming and stupid. In every case, except those that really matter to me (boxers vs. briefs (boxer-briefs), etc.), I want a proxy of some kind. I want someone else to do the thinking.

  
  

  You should want that, too. Every second my brain is occupied with things like whether or not a retinal-scan protection mechanism is really all that important to me is another second taken away from my potentially making the world a better place. I'd emphasize "potentially" with italics, but I'm using Safari (on my mavcintosishf computer), and I'm scared that the italics button is going to reject me. Not that it's going to ruin what I've typed, but that it's going to tell me that I need to "upgrade" to the latest version of Internet Explorer to be able to make my text all slanty (actually, I trust my people to have done a good job on the latest version of the channel-whatever code - my real beef is with things like Live Mail (or whvrvr it's called) that just don't work with Safari - it's bogus, man - it's way bogus - it's a plate of bogus covered in bogus sauce with grated bogus over the top and a side of minced bogus atop a steaming pile of bogus marinated in bogus juice).

  
  

  My dad just called and I lost my train of thought. I don't want to reread what I just wrote because I'm self-aware enough to know that it's probably tedious and pompous and other -ous words. I'll just pick up where I think I left off, and I'm pretty sure I was talking about computers.

  
  

  So, I like them. Basically.

  
  

  But I have a Apple computer because, you see, here's the deal, Ok, I write iPhone software now. That's one of the things I do. I do other things, and I'm going to start doing other other things soon, but before doing those other things, I've had to familiarize myself with iPhone development. You can't talk to people about it if you isn't done learned it. You following me? Right on.

  
  

  So, here's the deal, Ok, if you're ready.

  
  

  iPhone development is the abusive lover - the one you called the cops on who's being driven away from your home in a car by a POLICE OFFICER OF THE LAW while you throw shoes at the car and scream, "I loooove you, honey... I looooooove you..." with that accent that you develop when you live in a home that can be towed and where everything smells like old ketchup and you inexplicably have a hot-tub AND a big screen TV even though your kids eat rats they cooked over an oil-drum fire and that they put old ketchup on and that they eat while watching "the wheel" as they squint while trying to figure out what a "vowel" is and whether they should save up to buy one, too.

  
  

  Still with me? Awesome.

  
  

  iPhone development is, I've recently propounded, the leading cause of Stockholm Syndrome among IT professionals. It's the batterer you love more with each passing closed-fisted pop to the kisser.

  
  

  Do you laugh? Do you cry?

  
  

  You do both. That's what you do. That's the only way to cope.

  
  

  Is it becoming clear to you now? The answer? Do you see it? It lies before you, waiting for at least a nod - something that says, "Yeah - I see you over there - you're all right." An acknowledgment. A sign of acceptance.

  
  

  It waits. But it is impatient.

  
  

  It comes now.

  
  

  It bursts forth from my soul like a cirrhotic liver sploded in a microwave.

  
  

  The answer can wait no more.

  
  

  The answer is this: when my brain is shutting down because I've been practicing the dark art of Objective-C on the iPhone with the oppressive rules and do's and don'ts spouted forth by the power-hungry keepers of the code at Apple, it (my brain) is in absolutely no state to select this computer or that computer.

  
  

  Alls I know... alls I know is this. I'm going to tell you now what it is that is that which is alls I know.

  
  

  Perpend.

  
  

  If I have a two-thousand-dollar bill, and I go to the store with computers, I want to give it to someone who will then give me something good in exchange.

  
  

  There are too many of the Dell. There are too many of the Toshiba. There are too many of the many brands out there that are too numerous to list to list here. Let us accept for now that I am correct in the matter of there being, I say, many-too-many kitchens turning out fresh, warm laptops every new morn across the land and sea.

  
  

  When one enters into the Apple Store, one is set at ease because they frisk you at the door, pat you down, find your uncertainties, and store them behind the counter until you're ready to leave. After that, they do the same thing with your self-respect by out-cooling you with their hipster ways and tricks (except that, unlike your uncertainties, they don't store your self-respect behind the counter for retrieval upon exit, as there is nothing left to store).

  
  

  Thusly primed, mind-narrowed and heart suddenly beset with a yearning to win the approval of the bespectacled hipster youth who "will be your Genius today," choice is made irrelevant. You are subhuman and unqualified to restore unto yourself those qualities which separate us from maggots and alarm clocks and other trivial bric-a-brac not commonly held in high-esteem (and for GOOD REASON, I say - yes I do - I say that - often).

  
  

  Fortunately, there are oftentimes naught but three - perhaps four - choices for the laptop-seeking shell-of-a-former-human to decide among. Fortunatelier, you aren't doing the choosing. Your Genius - your Virgil, guiding you through this particularly uncomfortable level of hell - will simply tell you that, based on your one two-thousand-dollar bill, the Apple laptop computer you can afford to own is "this one."

  
  

  What's inside it?

  
  

  Who knows! Who cares!

  
  

  You rest your hands on what people simply cannot stop referring to as the "sleek industrial design" of the Apple's hard exterior. Heat rises from its packed innards, and you breathe in the scent of holier-than-thou. This flirtation is a down-payment - a promise - on redemption. Oh, to be cool again... oh, to have that self-esteem, lost so many minutes ago, returned to this poor, forsaken shadow of a shadow...

  
  

  You hand over your two-thousand-dollar bill. The Genius fidgets with a handheld Symbol-powered device that looks like it arrived in this century by way of a Delorean whose flux-capacitor heart tore a window in time that way Deloreans do when a heavy foot on the gas pedal increases the machine's heart rate to 88 miles per hour, resulting in two parallel lines of flames, about yea wide, mysteriously disappearing into a brick wall - a brick wall that was 1985 on one side, and 2009 on the other.

  
  

  You're informed that your receipt will be emailed to the false email address you provided earlier, thinking you just wanted a computer and not a subscription to the Steve Jobs "Chief Visioneer Newsletter". You debate with yourself about correcting this information, as there is a great likelihood that, because Apples are boutique computers, yours probably has at least six- or seven-thousand dead pixels in its sleek industrially designed screen, and you might like to try to return it later for a properly manufactured specimen that more closely resembles the floor model you were shown earlier.

  
  

  But you don't want to blow it. You got your computer. You got your box of cool. You got the respect of the hipster who now flashes you the secret sign of the Apple insider (a sign I will not describe here, lest some of your more unscrupulous readers flash this sign in public for to make monkey-business and for to make light of the holiest sanctum of the nerd).

  
  

  This is why.

  
  

  This is the because.

  
  

  I'm a Mac.

  
  

  I'm a Mac because I'm stupefied by the range of choices I have among orange-juice now. I can have pulp-free, low-pulp, normal-pulp, slightly-more-than-usual-pulp, and nothing-but-pulp-basically-just-pulverized-oranges-in-a-carton. To complicate the matter, various sellers of orange-juice offer in these confusing times similarly labeled products.

  
  

  And I NEED orange-juice to survive. Perhaps you have heard of the condition known as "scurvy"? Of course you have. My question was ironic. What brazen idiot fool risks developing this "silent killer" simply because he is too proud to ensure he's consuming the proper amount of vitamin-C every day? Oh, no! No! He has NO idea! Oh, he is SO cool. Oh, I wish I could be reckless and James Dean and Joe Camel and Johnny Cash like that, but, alas, I value my life, and so I spend a great deal of time on a weekly basis frozen before the enormity of choices extended to me by the state of Florida between juices of varying pulpage.

  
  

  I do not NEED a computer to survive.

  
  

  Ergo.

  
  

  The choice is simple.

  
  

  1 + 1 = mfjcnactintosh computer company is good.

  
  

  I have spoken.

  
  

  I did spake here.

  
  

  Spaken have I.

  
  

  Go well. May the wind be at your sails, and may your sails be attached to some apparatus that connects them to the vessel you pilot through the tempestuous, cyclonic waters of the oceans of life.

  
  

  I think I've made my point.

• This Week on Channel 9: Feb 8, 2008 Episode

  Feb 10, 2008 at 4:38 PM

  briankel wrote:

  

  esoteric wrote: The audio is a bit obnoxious ("walkie-talkie sound"), but otherwise I like these videos. I don't mind long videos, as long as they're not artificially drawn out.

  
  
  10-4, esoteric. I don't notice the same quality on any of my machines when I play it back but if anybody has ideas for what might be causing the walkie-talkie sound qualities please let me know. As I mentioned I do all of the editing myself so maybe there's a trick I can apply in post-production, or while filming, to improve the sound quality.
  
  Thanks for the feedback and the kind words; over and out!
  
  Brian

  
  
  For the "walkie-talkie" sound, it sounds like you guys are just peaking - it's distortion.
  
  I don't know what kind of lapel mics you're using, but there ought to be two settings on the things. One is probably the channel your wireless transmitter is operating on, and the other should be the gain.
  
  Just turn the gain down. You can always boost the audio when editing - just use a Normalize effect - but you cant undo the distortion if it's part of the recording. Best to be safe and record at a lower lever than crank up the gain.
  
  For the aspect ratio problem - I did that a few times. But you can save the video by rendering it in a letterbox mode. I don't know what you guys are using for editing, but if I remember, we had a chat about Premiere Elements. I haven't used that package in a while, but I'd be really surprised if there weren't a way to render in 4:3 with a letterbox mode turned on. If you don't see it among the rendering config, it might be an effect you can drag onto the entire timeline.
  
  Yeah. I've been there on both of these things. Hope this helps...
  

• BlueHat - #1: Robert Hansen on Phishing, the Bad Guys, and the Online Mafia

  May 17, 2007 at 2:32 PM

  Massif wrote:

  Fascinating stuff, marred slightly by the audio (perhaps a microphone of some description would be handy... not the kind you have to point at people to hear them though... that would interrupt the conversation.)

  
  
  Workin' on it. Gonna go online after writing this and check out my options.
  
  

  Massif wrote:

  Plus why was the third person (who's name , I'm sorry to say, has eluded me already) off camera? (aside from hiding from the mafia) It was a bit odd to watch everyone listening intently off camera. If you're going to have an audio presence you need a video one too, no hiding!"

  
  
  The conference people insisted on having someone from their own team present. They were nice about, but it shouldn't have happened - it's not the 9 Way.
  
  The problem is that it's really hard to get more than two people in frame with this camera without having back way up. That would have made the audio even worse.
  
  

  Massif wrote:

  Good stuff though, hope you met plenty more fascinating people and videod them. (isn't videod an odd word, is it video'd or videoed...)

  
  
  I've been struggling over the proper verb. "Videoed" keeps entering my head, but it sounds too weird. I've started to say "film," which make no sense, but at least I don't feel awkward

• BlueHat - #1: Robert Hansen on Phishing, the Bad Guys, and the Online Mafia

  May 17, 2007 at 2:25 PM

  raymond wrote:

  

  MrFile wrote: I must say i love the concept and the people seem great and all but this video is the worst video i have ever seen posted on channel 9. (Granted i visit a few times a month only) The audio was very low (At least with my computer at max volume), one person was off screen and lots of background chatter.

  
  
  Rory, I love you in front of the camera, but the audio on this video could be better.

  
  
  Yeah. The audio sucked. I know that. Wrote about it in the post for the video.
  
  The people who invited me to cover the event didn't have a room, or even a space, set aside for doing the interviews, so we had to do them right out in the lobby of the building we were in, and there were people all over the place.
  
  "PS
  
  Read the chapter on audio in the book cited in this post:
  
  Passionate About Digital Video
  
  http://channel9.msdn.com/ShowPost.aspx?PostID=283930[/quote]
  
  I've done enough recording to get the whole audio thing - just don't have the equipment. There's a trade-off here - the camera I'm using is compact and records straight to hard drive, which shaves a lot of time during production.
  
  I'm going to look into what I can do to get better audio. I'd to get some wireless lapel mics, but I don't know if they'll work with the camera.
  
  If I can't find anything, I've already gotten permission from the boss to get new equipment.
  
  We'll see what happens...

• Jesse Lewin on knowing Steve Jobs, working at Apple, and posing with Bono

  May 17, 2007 at 2:20 PM

  pspidey wrote:

  Wow.  Apparently honest feedback is not allowed on this site, and is replaced with 'troll, troll, troll'.

  
  
  You were just whining. There's enough whining in this thread from other people. You didn't add anything. Maybe you didn't bother to look, but your sentiments had already been expressed repeatedly by one person.
  
  Didn't need any more crap like that.
  
  This was NOT a troll.  For crying out loud.  It was an honest opinion.
  
  

  pspidey wrote:

  You are only confirming a juvenile nature when you petulantly delete criticism.

  
  
  I'm totally emotionally immature. I know it.
  
  I am not, for example, anywhere near sophisticated enough to be able to use a word like "petulantly" in a sentence.
  
  

  pspidey wrote:

  If you are a professional, you should be able to take criticism.

  
  
  Take a hike, yo. What you left wasn't criticism - it was just garbage. It was another very negative comments, and, as I've already said, it added nothing to the discussion.
  
  Criticism is welcome - I'm always interested in learning what I can to get better at this job, but if someone like you comes along and just complains without suggesting a solution (you were really vague), then I'm naturally going to get pissed.
  
  "It frankly amazes me, that you treat your viewers like this.  It's also not a good way to treat people who might potentially be customers / partners (which I am)."
  
  I've been in customer facing jobs for years now, and one thing I've learned is that there's a huge difference between someone insulting me and someone providing me with useful criticism.
  
  I'm a human being - what "frankly amazes me" is the huge number of customers who think that they can insult us without repurcussions.
  
  Yeah, it might get me fired one day, but I'll quit before I stop being myself. Partner, customer, whatever - that "the customer is always right" thing is a bunch of bull. I'm not your punching bag. If you treat me with disrespect, then I'll treat you in kind.
  
  I think that's more than fair.
  
  [quote user="pspidey"]If you think this is an anonymous troll.  Think again.  I'm fully willing to put contact details to this posting (not publicly obviously).[quote user="pspidey"]
  
  I believe you. I just don't care.
  
  Nobody talks to or about me like that. I've been on the receiving end of enough crap that I no longer have any tolerance for it.
  
  If you want to provide some useful feedback that isn't phrased in an insulting way, I'm happy to hear it.
  
  Otherwise, don't bother.

• Jesse Lewin on knowing Steve Jobs, working at Apple, and posing with Bono

  May 15, 2007 at 3:00 PM

  CRPietschmann wrote:

  Cool interview! I look forward to more interviews with the team.
  
  One thing I would like to know is how did Jesse end up at Microsoft?

  
  
  Jesse has yet to share with me the story of how he wound up here. There's been so much other stuff to talk about that we haven't gotten to it yet.
  
  It's a good question, though, given his very non-MS background.
  
  That's probably part of it - I think we go for people with varied backgrounds in the evangelism department. Kind of hard to talk about MS in relation to the competition if you don't know what the competition is.
  
  He's a smart guy. We just had a good hour long discussion/argument about MS/Apple stuff - particularly in relation to Microsoft's efforts around reaching difficult audiences. He has a lot of good ideas. Some of the stuff just wouldn't fly here, but that's a Microsoft issue and not a Jesse Lewin issue. It'd be nice if we had more like him - then some of those ideas of his might actually get implemented.

• Jesse Lewin on knowing Steve Jobs, working at Apple, and posing with Bono

  May 11, 2007 at 12:51 PM

  Massif wrote:

  Well, you can't please everyone. I found it interesting, although (obviously) not related in any way to programming.

  
  
  Exactly, yo.
  
  If all we ever did around here was post interviews with coders, it'd be little more than a watered-down tutorial site.
  
  The point here is to get the human stories behind tech.
  
  I love Jesse - he's a funny, intelligent guy. The conversations are great. His stories are great.
  
  He has a lot of fantastic non-geek goodness about him, too, but I thought we did a good job of keeping it geek related.
  
  It was also fun to talk about Apple. I dig Apple. I work for Microsoft, but I use tech from all over the place. I like to be able to chat about it.
  
  So... thanks for not being a puddinghead.

• Jesse Lewin on knowing Steve Jobs, working at Apple, and posing with Bono

  May 11, 2007 at 12:47 PM

  crappy wrote:

  Well... The interview guy basically sounds to me similar to this:
  
  "So I'm like you know, shucks, whatever, like, you know? Like, yea, and he's like wow, and you know?"
  
  It's quite annoying, as if listening to a 13 year old girl on a caffeine overdose.
  

  
  
  You know what's really cool?
  
  It's that the above comment was left by the same person as the one below:
  
  

  buggy123 wrote:

  I think you lost the adult audience with this interviewing guy, but I'm sure kids 2-6 will enjoy his antics. It's great you're thinking about the children as well.

  OMG he met Steve Jobs! He met Steve Jobs! He was his best buddy, OMG OMG!!!

  Right...

  
  
  The IP address for both was 83.228.56.[last number removed by Rory to protect this asshat].
  
  If you're going to create multiple accounts with which to attack us, the least you could do is come in from different addresses.
  
  Anyway, he didn't just meet Steve Jobs - he grew up around him. If I seemed surprised and excited, it's because I was surprised and excited.
  
  Not that you wouldn't agree - you were just attacking to attack. Just wanted to make sure my feelings on the matter were clear.
  
  Also, I didn't join Channel 9 to make you happy. I did it because it's a fun job. If it turns out that we're losing our audience because of these interviews, I'll step down without argument.
  
  However, we've been posting record traffic for the past several months straight, so I'm not too worried

• MSDN Wiki Projects - #1 - Saying Hello

  Apr 09, 2007 at 3:25 PM

  abkrino wrote:

  

  RoyalSchrubber wrote:  Rory wrote: So what am I here about... Video stopped at 6:24 with Rory trying to say something, looks like we missed something. Is this really the end of the interview or error in video editing? We want happy ending

  
  
  This short video is the first of a four part series in which I sat down with Fabrice Fonck and Molly Bostic to talk about the MSDN DevWiki project.
  
  Media Length: 00:06:25

  
  
  Yup - that's right.
  
  When I edited it, I thought I had cut off that last part. My guess is that the work area of the clip was smaller than the size of the clip itself, so I accidentally left in about a second from the next video in the series.
  
  It won't happen again (now that I know what to look for)

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