That's a terrrrrrrrible Scottish accent!
You know, I never thought my accent was really broad - and it isn't, compared to most of the people living in the East End of Glasgow, where I'm from.
But one day I was on stage with BillG at CHI in Seattle, right at the start of my talk I asked him a question: what age was he when he learned to read?
Bill looks blankly at me, says "I don't understand".
I ask the question again. He still doesn't understand. By this time I'm sweating blood and smelling disaster onstage...
I turn to the audience, say "Obviously an accent problem here!", rephrase the question and phew! Bill understands me, yawning chasm at my feet closes, on with the show...
BTW, I'm not a Distinguished Engineer - and now my secret identity is revealed I never will be...
Wait, who are those two guys in black at the door? And are those really tazers?
You'll never take me alive! zzzzz! ah, sh**!.........................