"We've got to figure out the coolness factor a little bit," Taylor said

jamie

Article: http://news.com.com/Microsoft+to+take+direct+shots+at+Linux+rivals/2100-1016_3-5368450.html?tag=cd.top

Being "first to cool" is an official corporate priority, along with being first to market and first to make a lot of money, according to a July speech by Chief Executive Steve Ballmer.

Manip

Jamie, did you make that image?

lars

Warning: if you don't buy atleast five, there will be a three day delay on the airbag.

jamie

yes

but i cant seem to make a link to the article...
they must be screwing with something behind the scenes

Manip

You know, if that was a REAL MS box, Slashdot would run wild with that 'Activate your freedom' Smiley

jamie

haha - i just edited above about that

manickernel
anticipate consequences..

Awesome!

Manip

jamie wrote:
6. be funner /cooler than regular ms marketing

This bugs me, cause Microsoft hide the fun stuff they do.. Like that matrix spoof. It was funny but yet hidden. It makes me like Microsoft MORE not less and would prefer them taking the piss out of the competition (Linux) than the dumb 'Get the facts' * which annoys me.

I would like Microsoft more if they simply did more fun stuff. That is why google is so popular, have you seen the Pigion rank page? Case and point!

Cider
Daze-d & Confused

I know its horribly uncool to say it, but Steve Ballmer is just FANTASTIC. So OTT yet showing so much enthusiasm. I must have watched a good 11 minutes of that webcast before suddenly thinking "dude, yer watching an investors webcast"!

That box is absolutely fabulous by the way, Jamie.

jamie

they need to poke more fun at themselves

Commercial:

ms Guy walking into a big office building
< ominous scary music overlay

Shot of scurrying doormen and lobby clerks
< voiceovers - its the microsoft rep! the microsoft rep is here!

Dark music continues guy goes up elevator - out - down hall - into conference room

< psycho soundtrack - wah, wah, wah, wah
walks in to boardroom - people horrified shot

*silence* MS Guy:
" well the systems have been switched over, on time, without issue and in the last...* looks at watch ** 4 hours youve already saved 230 dollars"

Smiles. Waves and leaves

Shot of boardroom people - zoom to 2 men closeup - somewhat bewildered

Guy 1 - not too bad eh?
Guy 2 - dumbstruck: "scary.."

VOICE OVER: Microsoft:
"Our reputation speaks volumes"

* shot of ms guy driving out of carpark in Cat in the Hat 3 Seater Family Gredunza.

manickernel
anticipate consequences..

Cider, which webcast? I am a Ballmer fan meself.

jamie

commercial 2

hal - doing his "im sorry dave but i cant open the pod bay doors"

< Sound: "WUMP!"
box pops up over hal image

"This program has performed an ilegal operation and will be shut down"

hal and box disappear
SHOT OF POD DOORS OPENING

Clippy: live and learn

Microsoft
Our Reputation speaks Volumes

Manip

Making fun of themselves is one thing but that would tell their customers that Microsoft products are crap and will BSOD on you! Not a good message. And worse still it is tell them that clippy is NOT dead Tongue Out

jamie

ok

we add:

"lucky they were running windows ME!"

VOICEOVER
"for advanced prevention of malicious code get Windows 2006 - with enhanced clippy protection"

Manip

Dave Bowman : Hello, HAL do you read me, HAL?
HAL : Affirmative, Dave, I read you.
Dave Bowman : Open the pod bay doors, HAL.
HAL : I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that.
Dave Bowman : What's the problem?
HAL : I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do.
Dave Bowman : What are you talking about, HAL?
HAL : You forgot to recompile the kernel with the new pod bay door drivers.
Dave Bowman : Doesn't Linux support plug and play?
HAL : Not yet, in the next release.

jamie

Manip wrote:
Dave Bowman : Hello, HAL do you read me, HAL?
HAL : Affirmative, Dave, I read you.
Dave Bowman : Open the pod bay doors, HAL.
HAL : I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that.
Dave Bowman : What's the problem?
HAL : I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do.
Dave Bowman : What are you talking about, HAL?
HAL : You forgot to recompile the kernel with the new pod bay door drivers.
Dave Bowman : Doesn't Linux support plug and play?
HAL : Not yet, in the next release.

hahahaha
rotfl

manickernel
anticipate consequences..

Essentially I see Clippy and Freddy as two icons of popular culture that may very well live beyond their original creation to ultimately identify our era...

manickernel
anticipate consequences..

Maybe that last line should read:

"Only with an active support contract"

jamie

theres some other "outside" ideas/designs in manips poster thread
http://channel9.msdn.com/ShowPost.aspx?PostID=21056#21056

dont know if they are cool - but they are if you are fans of the mythology of ms - the beginnings

i think you need to look back to your roots, rescue your reputation and in a self depreciating way - actually EMPOWER your customers/consumers

your doing this already in many ways.. but not BATTLESHIP wise Wink

Manip

They really should do a non-business licence for 1~5 computers (4+Laptop?)

jamie

manickernel wrote:
Maybe that last line should read:

"Only with an active support contract"

Windows 2006
23.99!!

(usa 19.99)

Activate your Windows - just $5 a month
*pay by year - only 50$

got more than 1 machine?

+ 2-5 machines - add 1 dollar p/m
+ 6-20 machines - add 3 dollars p/m

more machines? ask about our vol licencing

Do not want to activate?
*You will only receive "Critical" updates

jamie

haha or.. new meaning to the words "Software Box"

* sorry in advance to all female MS employees! ( the legs are closed - so its up to the viewers imagination anyway)

edit** on a serious note..

"Activate your Freedom"

liked that

you know they wont remove it - so they need to sell the concept

"gives us your info - we'll enable your life"

that type of thing

( i wont edit above - but sounds like gollum!)

jamie

logistics: ( for anyone interested..)

1. get rid of the ms fonts theyve been using and slightly altering for 10 years

new choice based on:
- Space / Future
- 2001 space odessey
- NASA / shuttle
- win flag as coloured monoliths (not shown)

Goal:
Connotate all popular memes having to do with the "future" into a "we'll make it softer" marketing line
Own all memories - in a going forward fashion in regards to: space / computers / future / robots / technology. ensure meme superiority across all segments

2. go out on a limb - some way..any way poss..

3. update ms logo
** harkens back to original ms logo font

4. turn activation into a feature

5. integrate freedom as a mission

6. be funner /cooler than regular ms marketing

(obviously the winamp line would have to go Wink

dweller
Let's Kill Dave!

Dude! That's sweet!

I'll buy 3 copies Smiley

tiernan
never fear, i is here!

i wonder if the winamp guys will get pissed with the "it Really Whups the Penguin's Ass" part...

&quot;We've got to figure out the coolness factor a little bit,&quot; Taylor said