Long story short:
Tried using Microsoft Update, got error about time being set incorrectly (it wasn't).
Synced time with MS time server just to be sure.
Tried updating again.
Updating bombs out during the scanning phase with error 8007007E.
I've tried several solution found on the net and none seem to work. They all centralize on iuctl.dll, iuengine.dll, and inseng.dll.
If anyone has seen this before or knows how to get update working again, I'd greatly appreciate it.
- Steel