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How to Insult Microsoft?

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  • User profile image
    scobleizer

    How to insult Microsoft? Reprinted from my blog at http://radio.weblogs.com/0001011/2005/09/08.html#a11057

    It's PDC time. Last time there was a PDC, I wrote a post titled "How to Hate Microsoft." That caused a stir. This year hate is down, but ambivalence is up.

    Here's some things folks have told me about Microsoft in the past few months:

    1) You're irrelevant.
    2) You're just a copier, not an innovator.
    3) You can't ship anything with any features.
    4) All you guys do is pull features out and slip.
    5) Other companies, like Google, are kicking your (I need to watch my language).
    6) The action is on the Internet, not on Windows.
    7) You guys make sucky products.
    8) Buggy products.
    9) Insecure products.
    10) You're selfish.
    11) Can't be trusted.
    12) You're evil.
    13) You only care about money, not about building a great product.

    I could keep going, but you get the idea. Steve Gillmor yesterday said "Microsoft is roadkill." That about covers it, no? So, why don't we have some fun? Who can come up with the best way to insult Microsoft? "Buy an iPod," I can hear you saying. Ouch. But, come on, can't you find an even better insult? Let's get it out on the table. Give me your best insult. Or are you too ambivalent about Microsoft? Ouch, that's a good one!

  • User profile image
    W3bbo

    scobleizer wrote:
    Give me your best insult


    Your flagship products all look like Fisher-Price toys out-of-the-box!

  • User profile image
    billh

    Whosoever says that Microsoft Office is great at integration has never tried to convert a Word document using FrontPage.

  • User profile image
    Manip

    Moderators, this is clearly a troll/flame post attacking Microsoft, delete? Tongue Out

  • User profile image
    jamie

    haha

  • User profile image
    Maurits

    scobleizer wrote:

    1) You're irrelevant. Hardly
    2) You're just a copier, not an innovator. This is a good thing
    3) You can't ship anything with any features. Quite the opposite -- many apps are feature-rich to the point of bloat
    4) All you guys do is pull features out and slip. Good, the fewer features the better
    5) Other companies, like Google, are kicking your (I need to watch my language). True
    6) The action is on the Internet, not on Windows. One would hope
    7) You guys make sucky products. Subject to taste... perhaps a suggested improvement would be more productive?
    8) Buggy products. Sure
    9) Insecure products. Sure
    10) You're selfish. This is a good thing
    11) Can't be trusted. Who can?
    12) You're evil. Mua ha ha...
    13) You only care about money, not about building a great product. Welcome to capitalism

  • User profile image
    jamie

    Your salesman, non-programmer / non-artistic CEO panders to the needs of Corporations and Media Conglomerates forsaking the very consumers/customers that built your empire and your marketing is condesending Newspeak

  • User profile image
    JohnAskew

    Microsoft is responsible for helping ship good paying IT jobs overseas, much like Wal-Mart does to manufacturing jobs.

    Perplexed


  • User profile image
    MisterDonut

    Thread.Lock();


    Tongue Out

  • User profile image
    Maurits

    JohnAskew wrote:
    Microsoft is responsible for helping ship good paying IT jobs overseas, much like Wal-Mart does to manufacturing jobs.


    It's cheaper to hire IT people overseas.

  • User profile image
    scobleizer

    JohnAskew wrote:
    Microsoft is responsible for helping ship good paying IT jobs overseas, much like Wal-Mart does to manufacturing jobs.


    That's not true. Microsoft has continued hiring here in the US at a ferocious pace. Several huge buildings have been built in the two years I've worked here and they are now full and space is at a premium here at our headquarters. Many employees are doubling up in offices.

    Oh, and EVERY team I'm talking to says they can't find enough hotshot C++ programmers to hire.

    Oh, and this week there was a company that hired workers to hold up signs offering jobs to Microsoft employees.

    If you're a good programmer and you live in Seattle or Silicon Valley you should now have a job. If you don't, let me know.

  • User profile image
    W3bbo

    Beer28 wrote:
    you blatently copied the root authorization box in vista from gnome and ksu.
    blatently, and shamelessly.


    Immitation is the greatest form of flattery Smiley

  • User profile image
    W3bbo

    scobleizer wrote:
    JohnAskew wrote:Microsoft is responsible for helping ship good paying IT jobs overseas, much like Wal-Mart does to manufacturing jobs.


    That's not true. Microsoft has continued hiring here in the US at a ferocious pace. Several huge buildings have been built in the two years I've worked here and they are now full and space is at a premium here at our headquarters. Many employees are doubling up in offices.

    Oh, and EVERY team I'm talking to says they can't find enough hotshot C++ programmers to hire.

    Oh, and this week there was a company that hired workers to hold up signs offering jobs to Microsoft employees.

    If you're a good programmer and you live in Seattle or Silicon Valley you should now have a job. If you don't, let me know.


    Any plans on opening a Manchester office? I'm sure there's plenty of UMIST Grads who don't want to move down to Reading or Cambridge (where house prices are astromonical)

  • User profile image
    Larsenal

    scobleizer wrote:
    JohnAskew wrote:Microsoft is responsible for helping ship good paying IT jobs overseas, much like Wal-Mart does to manufacturing jobs.


    That's not true. Microsoft has continued hiring here in the US at a ferocious pace. Several huge buildings have been built in the two years I've worked here and they are now full and space is at a premium here at our headquarters. Many employees are doubling up in offices.

    Oh, and EVERY team I'm talking to says they can't find enough hotshot C++ programmers to hire.

    Oh, and this week there was a company that hired workers to hold up signs offering jobs to Microsoft employees.

    If you're a good programmer and you live in Seattle or Silicon Valley you should now have a job. If you don't, let me know.


    Essentially what you're saying is that even though Microsoft may be hiring many people overseas, it's not like you are shipping most of the pie overseas.  The pie is getting bigger, and because of recent efficiencies in collaboration technology, good programmers--no matter where they live--should have good jobs.

    Hrm... Does that mean I'm a lousy programmer?

  • User profile image
    BenZila

    Beer28 wrote:
    you blatently copied the root authorization box in vista from gnome and ksu.
    blatently, and shamelessly.

    What really sucks about microsoft, is that you take good people, and you pay them alot of money to say bad things, or to live in your microsoft "tunnel vision" where everything comes back to microsoft having X better technology to do whatever job.

    Everything anybody from MS says is TOTALLY scripted. Especially Martin Taylor, but not exclusively limited to him.

    We can understand because it's their job to follow orders and policy, but people can tell when you're fake.



    Turn that around and you have linux guys awell.

    "It comes from M$ so it must be evil and crap!"

    "Linux > Windows"

    And don't talk about windows copying features when linux is just 1 big copy from apple, windows and unix.

  • User profile image
    BenZila

    Heres a good insult.

    Bill Gates is a hamster and Steve Ballmer smells of elderberrys.

  • User profile image
    dahat

    Bah, no insult of Micro$oft can be taken seriously without the required dollar signs!

    After all... which sounds more insulting?

    OMG M$ is teh suX0rz!!!

    or

    OMG MS is teh suX0rz!!!

  • User profile image
    scobleizer

    >Everything anybody from MS says is TOTALLY scripted. Especially Martin Taylor, but not exclusively limited to him.

    Heh. that's laughable. You have no clue how wrong that is.

    No one asks me, or tells me, what to write. If they do I tell them to take a flying leap in Lake Bill.

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