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Desperately need for love

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  • User profile image
    bkmgeosv

    Sorry to be a different tune here for such topic. Perhaps you can suggest a way or two, how to take for granted unconditional love from my friend and family, or even stranger?

  • User profile image
    Unoriginal​Guy

    Are you asking how you can accept it from them, how they can give it to you, or how you yourself can give it to others?

  • User profile image
    bkmgeosv

    UnoriginalGuy wrote:
    Are you asking how you can accept it from them, how they can give it to you, or how you yourself can give it to others?


    Yes, but precisely I want love from them without giving mine to them first. I call it unconditional because they would love me or show the love for no reason.

  • User profile image
    littleguru

    Isn't that normal for a family? Look at your mother: she gave you love even before you could ever give something back. You were a baby (crying, etc.) and she gave you love.

  • User profile image
    bkmgeosv

    littleguru wrote:
    Isn't that normal for a family? Look at your mother: she gave you love even before you could ever give something back. You were a baby (crying, etc.) and she gave you love.


    Sadly it wasn't for my family. There were always conflicts between my father and mother and now is over -- my mother has passed away. I and my sister lack of love, we are so weak to continue on life. Now I have a habit to "steal" love from others but do not aware how.

  • User profile image
    Unoriginal​Guy

    bkmgeosv wrote:
    
    Yes, but precisely I want love from them without giving mine to them first. I call it unconditional because they would love me or show the love for no reason.


    You can't change or control other people, only yourself. So might I suggest that you fix yourself, and not your family. Perhaps you should give out some unconditional love and see what happens.
     

  • User profile image
    bkmgeosv

    UnoriginalGuy wrote:
    
    bkmgeosv wrote:
    Yes, but precisely I want love from them without giving mine to them first. I call it unconditional because they would love me or show the love for no reason.


    You can't change or control other people, only yourself. So might I suggest that you fix yourself, and not your family. Perhaps you should give out some unconditional love and see what happens.
     


    It hurts because I give. I simply need more water to fluid my heart and brain. I am exhausting.

  • User profile image
    Unoriginal​Guy

    bkmgeosv wrote:
    
    UnoriginalGuy wrote: 
    bkmgeosv wrote: 
    Yes, but precisely I want love from them without giving mine to them first. I call it unconditional because they would love me or show the love for no reason.


    You can't change or control other people, only yourself. So might I suggest that you fix yourself, and not your family. Perhaps you should give out some unconditional love and see what happens.
     


    It hurts because I give. I simply need more water to fluid my heart and brain. I am exhausting.


    Unconditional love shouldn't be emotionally exhausting... In fact it should give you MORE engergy. Something wrong there.

  • User profile image
    bkmgeosv

    UnoriginalGuy wrote:
    

    Unconditional love shouldn't be emotionally exhausting... In fact it should give you MORE engergy. Something wrong there.


    I have no friends. Only two. I never talk to a stranger. I communicate with my father well. What could be the cause?

  • User profile image
    bkmgeosv

    bkmgeosv wrote:
    
    UnoriginalGuy wrote:

    Unconditional love shouldn't be emotionally exhausting... In fact it should give you MORE engergy. Something wrong there.


    I have no friends. Only two. I never talk to a stranger. I communicate with my father well. What could be the cause?


    Okay, after second thought -- I am reluctant to give love. I think it is already enough to bring to this end -- to know what state I am. Thanks UnoriginalGuy.

  • User profile image
    cheong

    bkmgeosv wrote:
    
    Okay, after second thought -- I am reluctant to give love. I think it is already enough to bring to this end -- to know what state I am. Thanks UnoriginalGuy.

    It's good to know you've found the problem, but I think a deeper problem is that you haven't discover the greatness to give, and/or to complete.

    Even if you managed to "give" to the others first, you could feel it's a burden. And if you found that some people just take your offers "for granted", you could feel frustrated.

    If you can learn to give, enjoy the happiness of helping someone/accompanish something, than forget. I'm sure positive relationship will start to build up and people around you will be very likely to treat you as their friends.

    Friendly people are friend-ly(have a lot of friends) because they're friendly(treat other people as their friends).

    Hope you can be a more friendly person. Smiley

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  • User profile image
    jsampsonPC

    Hey man, open your eyes! If you're a "niner", then you're getting unconditional love and affection from "niners" across the world! You are always welcome to join in the discussions, and we will always appreciate your contributions. You have just made well over 20,000 friends having visited and chatted on channel9; welcome to the mix friend!

  • User profile image
    Unoriginal​Guy

    Might I suggest this site to the op or anyone in his condition. It has some religious spin in parts, but it is easily ignored and still applies regardless. It helped me when I was a teenager.

    The Unconditional Acceptance and Love  section under self-control seems right on topic.

  • User profile image
    W3bbo

    jsampsonPC wrote:
    Hey man, open your eyes! If you're a "niner", then you're getting unconditional love and affection from "niners" across the world! You are always welcome to join in the discussions, and we will always appreciate your contributions. You have just made well over 20,000 friends having visited and chatted on channel9; welcome to the mix friend!


    It's not "love" from Internet-folk unless cybersex is involved Wink

  • User profile image
    AdityaG

    W3bbo wrote:
    
    jsampsonPC wrote:Hey man, open your eyes! If you're a "niner", then you're getting unconditional love and affection from "niners" across the world! You are always welcome to join in the discussions, and we will always appreciate your contributions. You have just made well over 20,000 friends having visited and chatted on channel9; welcome to the mix friend!


    It's not "love" from Internet-folk unless cybersex is involved


    And that ladies and gentleman is the reason why you probably shouldn't ask about how/what anything about love... on a geek overflowing tech forum Tongue Out

  • User profile image
    jsampsonPC

    W3bbo wrote:
    jsampsonPC wrote:Hey man, open your eyes! If you're a "niner", then you're getting unconditional love and affection from "niners" across the world! You are always welcome to join in the discussions, and we will always appreciate your contributions. You have just made well over 20,000 friends having visited and chatted on channel9; welcome to the mix friend!


    It's not "love" from Internet-folk unless cybersex is involved

    You have a narrow-scope of what "love" is Smiley

  • User profile image
    John Galt

    There is no such thing as unconditional love. Hence why so many mariages break up.  Everything in life is earned, not given (and you have to continue earning it each and every day). This is a fundamental law of the universe (for every action there is an equal an opposite reaction, by defintion means that if there is no action, there is no reaction).

    Love, being the highest form of respect requires the most amount of work on a continual basis. Your actions earn it as you move through your life making decisions and acting upon your value system.  But make no mistake, you cannot act positively and earn love if you're value system is screwed up and contradictory in nature. There is no such thing as a contradiction (paradox). If you encounter one, check your premises because you're wrong.  So first learn about yourself and what you value.  Build a foundation for your life that is based on careful thought, not "I want" or "I feel". Then and only then, can you begin to love yourself because only then are you worthy of your own love which again, is earned every day by you acting rightly no matter the cost or inconvenience.

    Once you love yourself, because of your actions and deeds, then and only then can others love you.

    But make no mistake. It is earned, not given and certainly not unconditional. You must work for it, both from yourself and from others each and every day, each and every decision, just as surely as you must breath to live.

  • User profile image
    John Galt

    And BTW, the same thing applies the other way. It is not rational to give something that isn't earned, especially love because it is so very important. If they haven't earned your love, then there is no reason for you to give it. Hence why it is so hard. It involves a contradiction that your mind (since you're on c9 I would assume that you are a very thoughtful person, if only because of your chosen profession) cannot integrate and thus fights against continually.

    Respect those that earn your respect through their actions.  On very very rare cases, that will turn to love when you can't fathom not being around that person, because their actions and values are so appealing to you that you get joy from simply being in the same air space as that person.  When it comes to a person of the opposite sex, and that person feels the same, it will naturally become a sexual expression of that incredible respect and desire to be with that person. 

    Unforutnately socialism has poisoned us so much that we're taught "it's better to give than receive" and "uncoditional love is good and required". Both of these concepts are evil by nature. If you receive from a just man, you are receiving because you earned it. Not because they feel sorry for you, or some other falacy. Hence the act of receiving something, is the culmination of a great deal of effort and work on your part.  As for unconditional love? That's the crap that Lenin and Stalin preached.... just before they killed 50 million people "in the greater good".

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