Coffeehouse Thread

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ridiculous suggestions

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  • User profile image
    rjdohnert

    This thread is dead

  • User profile image
    JohnAskew

    The first part is great news. Excellent.

    The second part is not. If you have insurance, why not let someone 'examine' your son? There's no shame in something like ADHD. I've lived with it all my life. There's nothing worse than not being treated and being called "failure" and "not living up to your potential". I've got an appointment this month. It's good you can show concern and be involved with your son's teacher -- they like that a lot.
    Wink

  • User profile image
    jsampsonPC

    While growing up I had ADD, and also some very serious anger-problems. I got in fights just about everyweek, and actually spent several years in boys' homes. Which is a small prison-like environment for trouble-children.

    My problem wasn't that I was a wicked SOB. It was that I had no focus, nothing excited me. Nothing caught my attention. It wasn't until I started doing things that I loved, that I began to shift my ways. I took up sports - football and wrestling. I wrestled for a little more than 10 years, and played football for about 8 of those. I tried baseball, but it didn't have enough contact for me.

    It was around my sophmore year in Highschool that I discovered computers. I got my first game, JediKnight DarkForces II, and began playing. Hours and hours were poured into that game. I soon learned about clans, and guilds. I joined up one, and decided "Hey..we need a website". So my passion for gaming drew me into some HTML-education.

    Soon thereafter, I decided to learn some simple graphical techniques to change mats in the game, and create new textures. From there, I started learning some simple c-style programming to begin making cog-modifications in the game.

    My ADD was no longer an issue. It wasn't that I couldn't pay attention, it was that I had NOTHING to pay attention to. Nothing iterested me until I found computers. Today, I have a great life...no anger problems (after countless years of fraggin' n00bs!), and a great job in the programming-field.

    My suggestion is to get your son experimenting with things that interest you. Maybe some simple programming, or something. Try to find something that excites him, and let him roll.

    I once heard a wise-saying, "It is easier to build a boy, than it is to mend a man." And of course the famous Bible-passage, "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it." Your son is in the molding-years right now, just find out where he feels comfortable and encourage his education in it Smiley

    Best of luck!

  • User profile image
    compugab

    rjdohnert wrote:
    "Well, he could one day be the CEO of Microsoft"  


    Cool Microsoft's CEO dynasty is assured Big Smile. Throwing chair is a very important criteria.

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    Richard.Hein

    I used to get in fights everyday in grade six - mainly because of one other kid.  It was a combination of utter boredom and being aggravated daily by someone who was a bully to everyone but the one who stood up to him. 

    Then I got tested and they saw I was way ahead of the class.  They sent me to special computer camps and things like that, and they advanced me directly from grade 6 to 8, deciding against skipping me two grades because of age and because my mathematics was not nearly as developed - mom and dad were not very good at mathematics.

    Considering my grammar and run on sentences, yeah, I know that being more "advanced" in academic performance doesn't mean you'll stay that way forever.  Perplexed  Wink  However, I do know that I went from having received 67 detentions (most for fighting) in grade 6 to only 2 (for tardiness) in grade 8, and one in highschool for flipping on my art teacher for giving me a mid-term C for being late with my art fees - we were poor). 

    They said I had ADD, when I was in grade 6; mom and dad said, "he's just bored and you're not teaching him anything", and they were right.  YMMV

  • User profile image
    JohnAskew

    It is certainly over-diagnosed, but it isn't smoke & mirrors either.

    It is hereditary, plus some recently say lead exposure and cigarette smoking by pregnant mothers is a large factor.

    I never got into many fights, fwiw. Impulsivity is part of it, excessive energy, low prefrontal lobe activity, difficult to concentrate, ability to hyper-focus. "Does not pay attention, does not follow instructions". Frustrating. Where did I put my keys?

    I don't mean to be anything other than honest about this, rj.

  • User profile image
    Rory

    I'm glad to hear your medical stuff turned out well. As someone who's dealt with a bunch of lame health issues, I understand how frustrating things can be.

    As for your son... I don't even know what to say. Honestly, I'm fascinated because I'm not a parent, and it's been so long since I've:

    1. Been a kid

    or

    2. Spent any serious time around a kid (mainly just my cousin's kids, and only on holidays)

    All I can think is that they're being a bit harsh on him. While throwing chairs isn't acceptable behavior, he is five years old - isn't this the time in his life when he's supposed to learn about stuff like this? Nobody's born with the knowledge that chair throwing (or other potentially dangerous expressions of aggression) is wrong.

    When I was that age, I was very impulsive. And, like others in the forum, I got into fights pretty much from birth until I left high school. I needed a lot of dental work when I was younger.

    But that's a major component of school - not just imparting knowledge and skills, but also teaching kids how to get along with each other. It's so strange to me that they don't just try to teach him a more positive way of dealing with anger.

    Whatever happens, best of luck.

  • User profile image
    Massif

    Rory wrote:

    When I was that age, I was very impulsive. And, like others in the forum, I got into fights pretty much from birth until I left high school. I needed a lot of dental work when I was younger.


    What are you now? [6]

  • User profile image
    W3bbo

    JohnAskew wrote:
    The first part is great news. Excellent.

    The second part is not. If you have insurance, why not let someone 'examine' your son? There's no shame in something like ADHD.


    I'm all for someone to take a look, but I think 5 is too young for any serious diagnoses. I'd wait until he's more stable, like 8 or something.

    Even then, once you have a diagnoses, don't tell the child lest risking 'labelling' him (it makes life more difficult, and I should know)


  • User profile image
    Kevin Daly

    I think it's too easily forgotten that nobody comes into the world socialised and civilised: learning what is expected behaviour in any given culture is a long, complicated process, and part of what childhood is for (read The Lord of The Flies sometime for a good idea of what raw human nature will give you).

    The other thing we (or most of us) learn to do of course is fake being normal, not realising that everybody else is faking it too Smiley

    You should base any decision about whether to seek professional help for your son on how his behaviour seems to you (trying to be objective) - the last thing you would want is for the poor kid to spend his childhood doped to the eyeballs because it's easier for teachers to handle and you've had the bad luck to stumble on a medical practitioner who's doing nicely out of the ever-expanding Syndrome industry (on the other hand, anything that pisses off Scientologists has to have a good side Big Smile ).
    Don't just assume that a behavioural problem is a medical problem, although of course it might be.

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    Larsenal

    Consistent discipline is generally helpful.  If there's defiant behavior, a little corporal punishment would not hurt.  In my opinion, 5 years old is not the age where you have to try and reason with them.  State the rules.  Be clear and forthright.  Don't tolerate manipulative excuses.  You'll really will be doing the kid a favor if he learns self-discipline.

    That's my two cents.  Take it or leave it.

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    rjdohnert

    I do spank the kids, not the girl so much anymore because she is a teenager.  But I do spank my son.  I try not to solve everything by spanking because I grew up like that getting my a$$ beat everytime I did something wrong no matter how big or small the offense was.  But I do agree with the old saying; Sometimes all they need is a good a$$ whooping.

    Larsenal wrote:
    Consistent discipline is generally helpful.  If there's defiant behavior, a little corporal punishment would not hurt.  In my opinion, 5 years old is not the age where you have to try and reason with them.  State the rules.  Be clear and forthright.  Don't tolerate manipulative excuses.  You'll really will be doing the kid a favor if he learns self-discipline.

    That's my two cents.  Take it or leave it.

  • User profile image
    PCBUILDERCH​RIS

    i have adhd i used to take the biggest dose of adderall there was and i felt i was missing a part of me it seemed to freeze me and id sit and listen to what my teachers had to say but inside i was screaming and wanting to do something else

    anyways i stop taking mines and hiding them under my bed lol

    and i think i can kinda manage myself without them but sometimes if my whole family is sitting in the living room with the tv blasting with the talking and the cell phones and arguing i turn into the hulk


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