Coffeehouse Thread

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Work or Hobby...

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  • User profile image
    Cornelius Ellsonpeter

    Why does it seem that women have issues with guys who do "hobby programming"? Has it been your general experience that they view it as some type of "work" instead of actually being a hobby? It seems to cause a lot of friction in relationships...why?

  • User profile image
    Massif

    Cornelius Ellsonpeter wrote:
    Why does it seem that women have issues with guys who do "hobby programming"? Has it been your general experience that they view it as some type of "work" instead of actually being a hobby? It seems to cause a lot of friction in relationships...why?


    Because, like many hobbies which are practised by yourself, it involves the neglect of others. And for many women (and plenty of men) spending time with others is the essence of "fun" or at least "not work".

    This is especially true if the woman involved is your girlfriend or wife.

  • User profile image
    johnny.NET

    Your problem is not limited to programming, and it it not because it is programming.  The frustration is because people's "hobbies" become their life and the unhealthy relationship, not all relationship, to the hobby is what ought to be given to the other person.

  • User profile image
    Maddus Mattus

    well,.........

    relationships are often based on mutual interests.

    dancing, going to concerts, hanging out with friends, sports,..

    And programming, sadly, is kindof a guy thing. So that's why I think women have "issues" with it. They cant relate.

  • User profile image
    dahat

    How many nurses do you know who like to care for sick people in their off time?

    How many fireman do you know who like to put out fires in their free time?

    Sure those are quite different than say... a professional ____ who does a little hobby carpentry on the side... most people can see the immediate benefit of a new table or set of shelves over some code.

  • User profile image
    Lee_Dale

    My missus is alright, because when I go upstairs on the computer and she moans, I just say....

    'Give me another hour and I'll have paid for our next holiday'

    She soon shuts up Tongue Out

  • User profile image
    SaraJo

    Cornelius Ellsonpeter wrote:
    Why does it seem that women have issues with guys who do "hobby programming"? Has it been your general experience that they view it as some type of "work" instead of actually being a hobby? It seems to cause a lot of friction in relationships...why?


    find a girl that enjoys it as well, it's not just hobby programming.... it can be making models, or painting, or anything you enjoy. It's important to find someone you can share it with.

  • User profile image
    thumbtacks2

    I think the world of programming has changed significantly over the past fifteen years, and that may be part of the problem too. Back in the days of Commodores, Apple ][s, and heck, Altairs, hobby programming was seen like many other "hobbies"...which could range from rocketry to electronics to whatever. Personal computers were just beginning to enter people's homes, and it was relatively easy to play around with programming and get a demo up and working fast.  And some people would say "wow".

    Nowadays, with computer systems so widespread in the workplace, IMHO, most people now perceive computers as a work tool. Besides, getting a simple graphics demo up and running on a Windows system wasn't exactly the easiest thing to do for the longest time. It's gotten easier with the Express editions and all that, though. And now almost all software is written by teams of people...so the individual developer has much farther to go before someone says "wow" anymore (or gets paid for their efforts).

    Just my 2 cents.

  • User profile image
    Maddus Mattus

    dahat wrote:
    

    How many nurses do you know who like to care for sick people in their off time?

    How many fireman do you know who like to put out fires in their free time?



    a) 1, namely my girlfriend.
    b) this is a trick question, firemen dont have spare time. They are on call all the time.

  • User profile image
    rahsoftware

    Find me a girl who's both straight and into programming!!!

  • User profile image
    Maddus Mattus

    rahsoftware wrote:
    Find me a girl who's both straight and into programming!!!


    Any other criteria or does that sum up what you are seeking in a girl?

    Maybe SaraJo is still single Wink

  • User profile image
    rahsoftware

    Hi,

    I doubt such a good looking girl with such a career is still single, straight, female, single software engineers are impossible to find!

  • User profile image
    Dr Herbie

    rahsoftware wrote:
    

    Hi,

    I doubt such a good looking girl with such a career is still single, straight, female, single software engineers are impossible to find!



    (Off Topic)

    Rob, you look familiar -- did you ever work for Tessella Support Services?


    Herbie

  • User profile image
    rahsoftware

    No I haven't

  • User profile image
    Dr Herbie

    rahsoftware wrote:
    

    No I haven't



    Well, there's an Irish guy called Rob who looks a lot like you who used to work in Winchester.  Smiley

    Herbie

  • User profile image
    AndyC

    rahsoftware wrote:
    Find me a girl who's both straight and into programming!!!


    I've met plenty, but geek girls aren't really my type....

  • User profile image
    mstefan

    rahsoftware wrote:
    Find me a girl who's both straight and into programming!!!


    I'm sorry, but all four of them are currently dating someone or married. Kindly wait your turn in line, and an email notification will be sent to you when one is available.

    Oh, and SaraJo, I think rahsoftware is smitten with you. Better watch yourself. Wink

  • User profile image
    ScanIAm

    AndyC wrote:
    
    rahsoftware wrote:
    Find me a girl who's both straight and into programming!!!


    I've met plenty, but geek girls aren't really my type....


    I decided long ago that I don't have the skillset to pick an appropriate female counterpart.  I let them pick me.  They tend to have better taste than I do Smiley

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