Thanks Rory,
      Yeah everyone has been saying about the same thing. It's something I'm slowly getting over. I think it's just a matter of time now.

I joined a Grief and Loss Group (I don't think I'm going back though), that had some tidbits of wisdom, however this group was a matter of a bunch of older women (50 ~ 60) that were bothered by their exhusbands dying...despite what everyone thinks (and RJ and Jonathan can probably appreciate) even though you're divorced I can see still loving that person.

Meds are right out. Any medication that I would use for this would more than likely incapacitate me....remember Neo when he finds out the Matrix isn't real...ya I kinda act like that on anything stronger than Motrin.

My mom had talked to me about it (just about everyday), and it's a matter of Karma methinks. There is only so long you can go without your family before you feel that strain of "Oh crap I messed up". My management at work has been uber excellent and flexible and the friends I have are being real supportive. Everyday I go through this is more like being more structured, I've started working out again...I cleaned my house, I moved the furniture the way I like, and things seem OK.

Like RJ went through, I worry...and I hope nothing happens, yet at the same time karma is a b(*&h and I know when the day comes it catches up things are going to straighten themselves out one way or another.

Thnx.