You are very unpolite and pretty insulting.
I do not even know what you mean by something like "3) Lack of respect for such a cry-baby approach to work. Do it yourself, man, show some self-respect. Grow a pair, PeterDouglas."
Why would I be here asking for help if I COULD DO IT? You all claim it's so simple but none of you can show a working sample. You seem to have a big pair yourself, how about showing a working sample? AND earning $500 on top of it. After all, you claim it's so simple!
"5) Why aren't you a big shot? If you aren't one then why come here?" When did I say I am a big shot? I am NOT. I COULD NOT SOLVE THIS PROBLEM SO I CAME TO THE BIG SHOTS HERE. Atleast that is how the word goes but it seems that people are wrong about you.
Email me bank wire transfer information and you will receive the money. Give me your word you can do it. That is all I need.
I can also send the money to any Microsoft employee who hangs out in here, he/she can hold the money until you make the job.
Good enough for you?